Here it is, about a month from official winter, and below are pictures of my rose and camillia in my front yard. I love livin' in the south!

At least around here, that is.

See, I was all set for a nice quiet weekend. I knew I needed to head out for a bit yesterday because a) I needed milk and onion powder b) The checkout girl at CVS had mentioned she'd seen my aluminum-free Adidas deoderant at the Dollar Tree (normally $3.29 each & she mentioned this as I was getting it as a BOGO special) c) I wanted to head to a store called Old Time Pottery to get 2 more of the wool/cotton doormats ($4.99 vs retail $18.99!). No problems, all these places are within 2 miles of my house. I got steak and shrimp out to thaw for dinner (more later YUM!) and headed out.

Stop One: Dollar Tree: They did not have my deoderant. No big whoop, since I'd just bought 4 tubes BOGO, but it still would have been nice. They did have some interesting linen spray and candles that looked much nicer than $1 and a plethora of the Pirouline style cookies, so I picked up a linen spray, candle, and canister of cookies each for $3 before tax. I wanted to 'test drive' them, as it were, because if they're worth a darn I'll stock up and make up some gift boxes to keep on hand. The verdict: cookies are YUM, and the linen spray spells very nice (if you're into vanilla, me not so much). So I'll be heading back for some more of each, and get some $5 gifts (including packaging!) stashed away.

Stop Two: Old Time Pottery.

HOLY !@#$ WHERE DID ALL THESE *&#$(^@ PEOPLE COME FROM?!?!?!????

They were everywhere, packed into this store like animals being led to slaughter. Shuffling up and down the aisles, stoned from the scented candles and cinnamon brooms, carts overflowing with every red, green, gold, and ivory knick-knack and whatchamajigger they could pick up.

This is where I realized: I'm stupid, and everyone else here is absolutely insane.

Luckily the holiday rugs weren't in the regular rug section, so I fought my way back and tried to enjoy the relative peace. Found my two rugs, and also picked up a wool dust-mop refill and bag of buttercreme scented tea-lights on sale. The candles will last me a year, until they go on sale again.

Stop Three: PetSmart. I really hate this store. I spotted a dead hamster in their hamster display once and spent 10 minutes trying to find someone I could tell to remove it, so now every time I go in I have to check all the hamsters as part of my attempt at keeping children from being scarred for life.

I also hate that they're the only store that carries the food my cats like and the litter my DH likes. And this time, they didn't have either one of them. ARGH!!! This litter is made from dehydrated orange peels and is the only thing that completely hides the smell without smelling like a poopy pissed-on flower bed (sorry for the visual!). It's like a crap shoot as to when the store wil have it in stock (sorry for the pun!).

Someone had emailed me about a post where I mentioned using Feline Pine, and I do like the stuff. Unfortunately, it can't hold a candle to this orange peel litter. Oh well, I'll have to make another trek later this week and buy all they have once it's finally back on the shelves.

Stop Four: Garner's Natural Market and Cafe. A safe haven from the weirdo Christmas zombies. Picked up onion powder, milk from a local dairy, 32 bean and barley soup, and 4 lbs of organic clearance pasta. A great way to end a very frustrating trip out.

Spent the rest of last night trying to recover. I cooked 1 lb of shrimp and about 1.5 lbs of steak (4 total, since this is how they were packaged and frozen), and dinner was a massive amount of surf & turn along with herbed corn and wild rice pilaf with lentils. TOtal cost for the meal was between 10-15 dollars and I could have easily fed 4 people, but now I have surf&turf leftovers for lunch next week. Classy!

Today has been a no-spend day and I've done nothing productive other than poke around the board. The night is still young, though. Breakfast was venison sausage biscuits wit sauteed onions. DH got bored around 1 and wanted to head out, so I mentioned we could try the metal detector we borrowed from his dad. He wanted to head to a local park (which I know would mean stopping somewhere and spending something on the way), so I asked if we could try it in the backyard first. I've never done it and actually need to find 2 of the cats' collars back there anyways. After about an hour we found part of an electric motor, a nail, a bolt, one of the cat collars, a dart, a long piece of iron, some buried barbed wire, and some metal plant tags. DH was bored at that point and went inside to watch TV.

Anyways, tonight's supper will not consist of the pork picnic roast I managed to char on the grill. Stupid hot grill! It's no problem, since I had 2 hamhocks just waiting to go into a pot of beans, not to mention the 32 bean and barley soup I bought. So that's simmering away right now, and I'm trying to get up enough motivation to be productive. My luck, I'll find it about an hour before bedtime and won't be able to sleep...

So weird: it was almost 80 yesterday. ACK!!! And I was wearing courdery and a sweater, I almost roasted in my own office!

Today is still unseasonably warm, with a high expected of 73. Monday morning is supposed to be in the 30s. One of the downsides of living in the south: 40-50 degree temperature swings are not unheard of.

At any rate, this is throwing a monkey wrench in my strategy when it comes to cooking. I have on hand idaho potatos, chicken stock, ham hocks and a picnic roast, dried beans, butternut squash, etc. All kinds of yummy cold weather food. I think my warm weather capabilities include ice cream and frozen fish...

At any rate, I believe the time has come to begin working on the Christmas list. So, off I go to eat something cool, put on my shades, and get in the holiday mood!

This is something I like to think about when I get bored. As it is super-quiet at work right now, and I have nothing better to do, I am going to ponder what I would do if I won the lottery.

First let me say I'm talking a goodly sized lotto here, none of that mamby-pamby under 7 figure stuff. Come on, if you're gonna dream, dream big!

1. Pay a crap-load of taxes, and not care because this is free money. Uncle Sam: Check!

2. Convince DH that we will need to legally change our names (slightly) so we can still live where we are undistrubed rather than having to pick up and move.

3. Split a million up into separate accounts at separate banks so it would be FDIC insured. Have all interet generated deposited into another separate account just for the joy of seeing how much interest I would earn every month. Emergency Fund: Check!

4. Pay off all of mine and DH's debt. Debt Elimination: Check!

5. Split the remainder 50% me and DH, 25% friends and family, 25% charitable donation. Place an accountant in charge of the F&F portion with strict instructions to call DH or me anytime anyone attempts to access the money (otherwise we'll have F&F we never even knew about!). This money will be assumed lost once it leaves the building. Place another accountant in charge of the charitable donation funds, with instructions to invest them and donate dividends/revenue/interest every month to a list of pre-approved organizations in pre-approved percentages. Have accountant one and two send monthly reports to Head Honcho Accountant who will manage the remaining funds for DH and me and hopefully be a wiz at tax deductions *grin*.

6. Go to DH's office and watch him light a smoke, take a shot of tequila, and quit on the spot. Do the same at my office (except vodka, not tequila), with an offer to do contract work if absolutely needed.

7. Hire a landscaper to overhaul my yard (crack shack included!).

8. Hire a general contractor to replace the roof, install solar panels, install solar collecting storm windows, a mac-daddy on-demand water heater, renovate the kitchen, replace my leaky toilet and the sub-floor beneath it, and scrape and paint all the walls and trim in the house.

9. Hire my mom to be there to ride the GC's arse to make sure the job is done right!

10. Take DH and the cats on a month-long trip to Buenos Aires while the house is being renovated. Eat fork-tender steak daily and do my part to boost the Argentine economy by purchasing leather goods and silver/garnet jewelry.

11. Move back into my house, because I like it.

12. Encourage DH to open a pool hall, something he says is a dream of his.

13. Get into real-estate with my mom. We enjoy going to the foreclosure sales anyways (they're held once a month about a mile from my house). I'll provide the start-up capital, she'll be the property manager, and maybe TLC or A&E will come make a TV show about people who actually know how to renovate and flip houses...

After that, I'm not really sure. What about you, what would you do if you won the lottery?

I started stashing the change and dollar bills from my allowance 10/12. Here's my progress:

----------------------------------------------
PREVIOUS TOTAL
----------------------------------------------
  $78.23 total as of 11/2
- $ 0.00 reward for

1W1G #3 (I didn't make it on time!)
--------
  $78.23
----------------------------------------------
THIS WEEK
----------------------------------------------
  $10.00 dollar bills
  $ 4.75 quarters
  $ 1.40 dimes
  $ 0.15 nickels
  $ 0.20 pennies
--------
  $16.50 total this week
----------------------------------------------
  $94.73 total as of 11/07

You might not know this, but I like coffee Hey, I even managed to keep a straight face while I typed that!

Anyways, I wanted to share some easy ways to have coffee-shop coffee right at home. Unless you're anywhere near I live, in which case you need to come by my dad's coffe shop

First things first, buy coffee you like and know you will enjoy. Just my opinion here: non-flavored will be your better bet because it will give you more options when it comes to adding flavor later. Coffee stays fresher if you buy it in bean form and grind it yourself, but we all know that's not always an option. Instead, keep ground coffee in an airtight container in either the fridge or freezer (this will also work for your beans, too, BTW).

OK, first tip for interesting coffee: mix cocoa powder in with your grounds before you brew. One tablespoon per full pot should work, more or less depending on your taste. MIX IT UP WELL, as the powder just sitting on top of the coffee may result in your coffee not dripping properly and over-flowing onto the counter!!! You can of course try this with any ground spice you like (cinnamon comes to mind, or a bit of ground vanilla bean). Experiment.

For an at home mocha: keep hot cocoa mix at home, and make the cocoa as directed but use coffee instead of milk or water. Even yummier: mix the liquid up in a measuring cup or something you can pour from. Take a coffee cup and fill it about 3/4 the way with whipped cream (real stuff from a can works great). Pour the hot coffee mix over the whipped cream, and you have a mocha cappucino! YUM!!!

Another thing to try: extracts. A drop or two of peppermint oil, almond extract, vanilla, etc can do wonders for a cup of coffee.

Try making your own flavored creamers: get a container of half 'n' half and try making vanilla creamer, cinnamon hazelnut, buttered almond, etc. Extracts and spices are all fair game here, but if you use spices you may want to LIGHTLY heat them in the half 'n' half to get more flavor.

Make your own Chocolate Spoons (great for company or gift giving). Buy spoons from a dollar store, otherwise you'll use up all your regular ones! Carefully melt chocolate chips in the microwave (follow the directions on the bag), swirl the spoon in the melted chocolate and place on wax paper to harden. VIOLA, something chocolatey to stir into your coffee!

Search online for a biscotti recipe: there are oodles. Make up a big batch and store them in an airtight container so they stay crisp.

What about all of you? How do you make coffee-shop coffee at home?

Hehehehe!!! Lucky Robin made a comment on one of my earlier entries about the FlyLady hiding dishes under the sink in order to have a tidier kitchen. First thought I had "Isn't that what the dishwasher's for?" (Note, I don't actually have a dishwasher, but that is what I thought).

Next, though, were flashbacks to May of 2005, and they were just too funny so I thought I would share them and give all the frugies a good chuckle.

April 2005 was a busy month. DH turned in his resignation to his job and I got asked to fly to Argentina for work. For a month. With 2 weeks notice. Busy.

At any rate, I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off getting things ready to go and DH offered to do the dishes. No problem, I'll take him up on that.

The dishes sat. Days upon days they sat. I would wash the dishes I personally needed and hide them when I was done so they would be clean and ready when I needed them again. I didn't wash the rest b/c DH said he would do them. I can be stubborn when I need to be, and I wasn't going to loose this one.

The time came for me to fly to Argentina at the end of April. I left the bills ready to be mailed and a calendar with dates to mail them, important contact info, etc. DH was taking this month off since he'd just resigned his job so he would have plenty of time to get everything around the house taken care of. (he wound up starting a new job the week after I got back so don't everyone freak out here).

Fast forward to Memorial Day weekend.

I've had a long month abroad: fun but tiring. Due to a scheduling SNAFU I missed my flight home and spent a night sleeping on a bench in the Buenos Aires airport. It was like the movie 'Terminal': I don't recommend trying to live it. Another long night flying from Santiago, Chile to Atlanta (OK, it wasn't that long cause I was in 1st class, but that's beside the point!!), and then a short flight home.

DH greets me at the gate, shuttles me off to the car, and takes me to a pancake breakfast. I eat like a mad-woman: an American breakfast, in an American dinner, with people all around me speaking American, er, English! As I'm polishing off the last of my obscene plate of food, DH says he has a prize for me at home. Woohoo, a prize!!!

We get to the house, and my prize is: clean dishes, silverwear, and glasses, clean towels, and fresh sheets on the bed. See, my mom had told him that the thing I would want when I got home would be to come home to a clean house and a good night's sleep in my own bed on clean sheets. Hey, she was close

At any rate, apparently DH realized the day before I got back there was no way he could get everything done. So, he went out and bought new dishes, silverwear, glasses, towels, and sheets.

Some of you have probably already figured out his ruse, as I did. Rather than washing the dishes that were sitting in the sink when I left the country, he literally piled them in a Rubbermaid, threw them in the trash, and bought everything new!! The months worth of towels and the sheets that had been on the bed? Hidden in his closet...

The good news? I really hated the old dishes (they were his ex-wife's Fiesta) and absolutely adore the white Correlle he bought to replace them!

Frequent readers will note I'm still using the term 'our', rather than 'mine' or 'his' *g*

Anywho, I've been giving some thought to the pitiful negative net worth of my household. Bluh!!! I think this is something I want to rectify during 2007: I wanna get in the black!



OK, so there it is. Yes, it's a copy of the same image from a previous post. Sue me (hehehe, why would you, you can see you wouldn't get anything!)

So, here are my thoughts on the fastest way to get into the black on my net-worth. Interestingly enough, they're not necessarily the ones that will save the most when it comes to paying out interest, so I guess I need to decide which is going to motivate me (and of course DH) the most....

1. Pay off DH's old Honda Card. This is our highest interest rate and would almost put us in the black on it's own. Woohoo, two birds with one stone baby! For those that are curious, the Honda Card was for a 4-wheeler DH bought about 5 yrs ago, before I met him. He sold it right after we met and the cash from the sale was spent long before I even knew it was financed, leaving us with this zombie-like bill. GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

2. If we can pay off the hospital: POOF, we're in the black!!! Only downside to this is that the hospital is at a lower interest rate than every other debt we have. Tricky, eh?

I dunno, I think I'll chat w/ DH and see which way he would like to go. Then again, he still hasn't reviewed the 'financial report' he asked for, so he may have no clue what I'm talking about

By 10p Tuesday 11/14 I will...

Finish last week's goal of organizing the pantry! Also, I will create a viable schedule for reining in the household chores.

I actually have a schedule, but it was set-up for the rental house we used to live in. 900 sqft vs 1700. 1 story vs 2. 1 bathroom vs 2. No stairs, half the windows, yadda yadda yadda... I feel like I'm drowning!

At any rate, I'm tired of playing catchup so to speak, so I'm going to sit down and figure out what has to get done for my particular comfort level. And no, I'm not too worried about DH's comfort level: he's fine as long as there's a path from the door to his chair...

One day I might get brave and post pictures of that chair, but I'm afraid the blog police might fine me for posting something so unpleasant!

Read about My "One Week, One Goal" quest here

Also, visit the new thread

Text is "What is Your Goal This Week?" and Link is http://www.savingadvice.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22948

"What is Your Goal This Week?" to see what other folks are doing!

Text is The Goal: and Link is http://tinapbeana.savingadvice.com/2006/10/31/one-week-one-goal-3_16543/

The Goal:
By 10p Tuesday 11/7 I will...

Clean out and organize my fridge, freezer, and pantry.

The Result:
bah! I got the fridge and freezer done (it was interesting, I'll give it that), but the pantry fell by the wayside. See, I had bought a bunch of meat on sale and had to package it up and get it in the freezer, which added to my freezer organization task.

Turns out my freezer is full almost to the bursting point: I even have a shelf that is trying to sag and break! Moral of the story: can't buy any more meat on sale until we whittle away the 7 species we currently have on ice!

Text is The Reward: and Link is http://tinapbeana.savingadvice.com/2006/10/23/1w1g-rules-update_16073/

The Reward:
No reward for me

*** UPDATE ***
Last night, DH asked if I could send him a 'financial report' every month. This is what he got today: wonder if it'll help?



YAY, FEEDBACK!!! I appreciate everyone taking the time to read my rants and then go through the effort of organizing and thoughtfully sharing your input. And yes, I am being serious...

On a side note: apparently my rants about DH are even more popular than the ones about StarCrooks, as yesterday was the new biggest ever for pages viewed. Way to Rant, TinaP!!!

Since I got so many comments, questions, and suggestions, I wanted to place my response in a new post in hopes that everyone would be able to follow-along and offer more help if possible.

"LuxLiving Says: My first thoughts are to save this as a last resort measure. "

Oh yea, this is definitely a last resort measure. I was even leery of putting it on the blog since there are thoughts DH is reading this as we 'speak'. But, I promised I wouldn't censor myself, so I laid it out there!

"LuxLiving Says: ... Once he gets a taste that you're trying to cover all the bases don't you think he'll come around?"

Well, I've tried that to an extent. He's seen the spread sheet & therefore knows that there's money left over after I save for the quarterly, semi-annual, and annual bills (plus holidays & gifts). It's what to do with the 1100 leftover that's causing issues: I have no retirement plan at work so I'd like to fund a Roth, plus agressively pay down existing debt after creating a baby EF. It's not that DH is against any of these things, but he has no qualms about using that money for something tangible in the here & now. Retirement to him isn't tangible, and he doesn't want to pay the debt aggresively. His view is "it'll get taken care of eventually". My view is: add up the car, the house, and what we pay each month in other debts, you get over $1000. If we could pay of our debts and keep our current income, we could have over $2000 each month to save and enjoy. But that's in the future, it's not now and it's not tangible.

"yummy64 Says: Slowly make the savings a bill - it comes out of the account automattically when you are paid. Money sitting around in accounts is money to be spent - see it spend it..."

Actually, we already have a 'savings bill'. $150 goes out the 3rd and 18th of every month (3 days after I get paid) to cover the quarterly, semi-annual, and annual bills (plus holidays & gifts). Plus I'm sending $200/wk to the online savings account. It's the money sitting in savings that is so tempting to DH. We have themoney, it's right there 'not being used', so why not use it to buy X?

"Lynda Says: ... It's easier to not spend money when you feel like you are getting something of value for your efforts. Maybe seeing how one level of savings has him working until 60+ and another has you both free and clear and done with work in his 40's would be a way to become more united on your savings goals...."

This ties back to what I mentioned earlier: retirement isn't tangible to DH and therefore I don't think he finds planning and saving for it as emotionally rewarding as, well, stuff.

"PRICEPLUS Says: Tina, I like the idea of making savings a bill. It is sooooo important to save before kiddies come around!"

Savings bill (1100 per month) is already done. It's just that he wants to tap into it whenever something fun/new comes along. As for kiddies, we currently don't intend on having any. We both like kids and are very good with them, but DH's very open about the fact that he's selfish when it comes to both me (i.e. not wanting to share his time with me) and money. He's even broughtup the V word...

"PRICEPLUS Says: ... The "MY" money and "YOUR" money idea is fine if you decided it before marriage! You and hubby are a team and the operative word is "OUR" money...."

It always has been 'our' money, but so far that's going over like a turd in a punch bowl. Pardon the phrase, but the picture is clear.

"PRICEPLUS Says: ... The Mine and Yours gambit should only be used when the financial house is teetering and there is no other choice. An allowance of mad money should be set aside for both of you and the rest into savings or reducing debt!..."

DH already gets an allowance, as do I. His allowance is 11.90% of the household income, mine is 9.52%. It's what to do with money above and beyond, the actual monthly surplus, that's causing friction.

"frugalmomof1 Says: ...Have you showed him the newly formatted budget? When he sees that your surplus is nearly 10x's more than his, maybe his tune will change."

I haven't shown him the newly formatted budget b/c I'm not sure if it's appropriate. It really does make it look like my money versus his money, as opposed to 'our' money, which I'm trying to avoid if at all possible.

"Broken Arrow Says: ... Having said that, if he is comfortable with it, and if he's willing to agree with it, the simplest solution is to for you to give him a (percentage) cash allowance every pay period. This is his "car gas/play money". In return, he doesn't have to worry about any bills or debts anymore, provided that he's not going to push for more money. Oh, and he would also have to surrender his paychecks to you...."

We've been doing this for about 2 years now, actually. To give you a picture of what it was like before I took over the finances: a year and a half ago DH was carrying 2 check advances and owed his sister for a title loan on her car. I managed to wipe those out in a few months, and put him on an allowance. He has no car payment, gas bill, or cell bill as all those are covered by work. His allowance is truly fun money...

"Broken Arrow Says: ... Specifically, we split all the bills down to whatever we knew we could handle."

Sadly, the bills are all in my name b/c DH has/had bad accounts at all the major utilities. Most have been taken care of by now, but the utilities were established in my name long before he could get accounts.

"janh Says: ...After the accounts build up, would you have to remind him that it is for a specific thing or would he want to spend it on something else? I guess I wonder this cos this is my DS to a "T." I think he is beginning to come around and negotiate more for things they each want--him a toy, her saving for something..."

Unfortunately, that's the difficulty. DH doesn't want to save for a specific thing. 'The money is right there in savings, why not just use it: that's what money's for, right?'. Last night he wanted to research what it would cost to go to one of the Racing Experience schools at a NASCAR track (it's actually less than we thought, but prices range from $200-5k!!!). I told him that if it's what he wants we'll save up for it, just give me 6 months and I can make it happen. We could even make that his every-event present for 2007 and go big on it. First thing he said is: "Why not just use my tax refund? That would cover most of it, and we can do the taxes in Feruary and get the money more quickly!"

"pjmama Says: ... Make sure you tell him why you feel it is so important, and perhaps he will come around."

I don't know if he will come around: I'm thinking of future stability and paying past debt, and he's very much in the here and now. =/

"baselle Says: ... I think you'll have to make your debt reduction, savings goals, and emergency fund replenishment additional line items in your budget and rebalance your individual budgets so that each of you will have about 10-15% discretionary."

Well, we do already have discretionary budget, and we've alraedy talked about what our tolerances are for an EF (which was a nice discussion, very adult and honest and all that jazz). Debt reduction is the big issue: he doens't see the point. When I told him I could pay the car off in 2 years and save 6k in interest he actually said "But you don't need to think of it like that, think what you could do with that $300 every month". ACK!!!!

"baselle Says: ... The other chat you need to have is the 'want' chat. Ask DH to list out his Christmas list. Are they things that only he'll enjoy or things that you'll both enjoy? Will it possble that by waiting you'll get a better deal or that you can combine wants? If DH digs electronics, that happens quite a bit. Ask DH how he (or you both) will use his wants..."

I've been telling him for abotu a year "put it on the list!", but he thinks I'm kidding! Sometimes it just feels like DH wants everything, all at once. Sometimes his desire for something passes, sometimes the desire passes after the purchase is made (like the canoe he's "wanted" for 20 years that's currently in the den).

"baselle Says: ... It sounds like he chaffing under the bit, perhaps feels a bit "whipped". Is he getting teased?"

Actually, DH tells anyone he can how good I am with our money, and freely admits he's better off with me taking care of it than he would be doing it himself. He just told me last night how proud he is of how I handle our finances. I don't get it!!! As for his friends: most of them come to us for loans b/c they 'know' we're in a position with some liquid cash on hand. No teasing that I'm aware of...

"LuckyRobin Says: ... Price--What is it they say, something about if you really want to catch flies, use a dead possum. I've seen that posted somewhere around here. "

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! Needed that!


"LuxLiving Says: Tinapbeane - Here's the sentence I use (very nicely - not snidely) with The Hubster and my kids: "And how are you planning to pay for that?" WAIT... WAIT..... WAIT FOR IT.... 'Oh I hadn't even thought about THAT!" GEE Willikers Peeps!! I always wag my head about then!"

The response I've heard is something to the effect of "How can I pay for anything if you're the only one with the checkbook?"... Feels like DH is happy w/ how I handle finances when it gets bill collectors to stop calling him and when it reduces our overall debt-load, but unhappy with how I handle finances when it keeps him from buying what he wants when he wants it. Don't know if that's true or not, but that's how it feels.

"LuxLiving Says: ...Could you work with him on making a list of the things he wants? At some point you might be able to convince him that he can't have everything he wants. None of us can...we wouldn't have anywhere to put it all. Could you post a list on the frig "Hubby's Want List" with the numbers 1-5 already listed on it and no room on the paper for a number 6 or more? Tell him you'll help him save to get his wants fulfilled but if he comes up with more than 5 that something else will have to be crossed off the list...."

Like I said earlier, I don't think he believes me when I tell him "put it on the list!" And I do think it's a good idea (esp since it makes gift buying so much easier...), but at the same time DH's wants are running about 500-1500 a pop. I don't think I could afford to save for 5 of 'em!

"LuxLiving Says: ...We all have to learn to prioritize at some point, maybe this is a skill he hasn't quite yet mastered?..."

I dunno. He's parents are not well off and are very frugal in their own way. At the same time, he was the youngest and the only boy and got treated like an only child in a lot of ways. I think that's what hasn't been outgrown...

"LuxLiving Says: ...Once you've explained that there is no money left for play because all of these OTHER things have to be covered then it is easier for folks to understand why there are no $$'s today to play with...."

And that's part of the issue. After all current needs & obligations are meet there's 1k that burns a hold in DH's mental pocket. I want to use some of that for my retirement fund (he just set up his 401k at work, whereas my work doesn't offer one), and some to pay off debt. These apparently are in no way a priority for DH. At least, he doesn't act or speak like they are.

DH has even decided to use some of his allowance to got througha credit rehab program where you pay $100 and they promise X many points up in your score blah blah blah. It's a load of crap: you know this, and I know this, and I've told him this. But, I've also told him if that's what he wants to do with his allowance it's his money. My question is: Why not just pay your old debt? You owe the money, and we have money that I'm offering to use for that specific purpose?

This is where my confusion lies. DH says he wants to pay down our debt and not owe money to his parents or his Honda Card or the hospital or whatever. But he's not willing to see me send any more out the door to try and reach that goal, he wants the money here where it is in theory usable. My perspective, in contrast, is that since we owe X many people/companies money, our 'extra' $1000 per month is really ours right now, it belongs to the people we owe money to and the grown up thing to do is give it to them.

Again, I appreciate your time and feedback, and I welcome even more in this next round of Tina the Budget Bad-Guy.

Loyal readers, I'm turing to you for advice and/or suggestions.

As some of you might have gathered, my DH is not the most budget minded person *g* While he is making progress, the list of 'I would really like to have's is getting longer and longer. I feel I have the budget under control thus far, but I'm also preparing myself for when/if things get stickier.

DH's finances have been melded with mine since we started living together. He admits money isn't is strong suite and asked me to take care of it. I happily accepted. When we got married, I took 'for better or worse' to include, among other things, the fact that I was now responsible for debt other than my own. So was he, of course.

After I started my new job and drafted a new budget, the finances worked in such a fashion that all our needs and obligations could be met on my pay alone. DH's contribution to the household kitty (everything other than his allowance and our benefits) could then be used for saving, debt reduction, what-have-you. I think the mistake I made is phrasing it to him in exactly this fashion, and now somewhere in the back of his mind is the thought that we can make it AOK on just my salary and therefore his money can be play money if 'needed'. I don't know if that's the case or not, but it's what I think.

So, I have sat down with our budget and divided the expenses. Splitting shared items (house, utilities, groceries), and alotting our individual debts, well, individually. For instance, I'm allotted the car payment and its property taxes b/c it's in my name, we split the auto insurance b/c it covers both of us, that sort of thing.

After looking at the budget in this fashion, DH's salary covers his expenses with $100 to spare, mine are covered with $950 to spare.

The quandry I am in: if DH pushes the 'we have money let's spend it' argument in the future, should I bring up the fact that he's actually wanting to spend my money? Would it be appropriate for me to offer to give him his surplus every month to do with as he sees fit (i.e. take responsibility for it, good or bad) as long a I get to save my surplus as I see fit?

Lemme know what you think, readers. My inquiring mind wants to know!

These paint fumes are killing me! My head is spinning, my tummy is upset (but that might just be the 7 bags of candy corn...): I gotta get outta here!

I brought beef stew and mashed potato left-overs to heat'n'eat today, but I don't think I can do it. The kitchen is right next to the office being painted and some small part of me thinks the microwave might in fact ignite the fumes! *g* Honestly, though, I can't sit in here and eat like I want to, I'm going to have to head out somewhere.

And, alas, since there is no-where open that will allow me to heat'n'eat my leftovers, I'm going to have to spring for lunch. Bah! So much for the possibility of another no-spend day!

Aside: Heat'n'Eat would be a great name for the amorphous brown-bag welcoming business I mentioned in a previous blog entry. BA, if I buy you ice cream, will you front me the money to start a chain of Heat'n'Eats? *g*

Yeah, buddy!

Walked in to the office today, and the paint fumes were so thick you could almost cut them with a knife. I work in one of those office complexes w/ brick buildings, 4 suites per building 2 on top 2 on bottom. We're on the bottom and they're renovating the other 1st floor suite: 2 months of banging drilling, and yelling. Yeehaw...

They started painting on Friday. The fumes were noticeable, but not horrible (had the windows open in the afternoon). Today, though, it could almost make your eyes water. Plus, the windows aren't open and the heat is cranked way up. OMG I THINK MY HEAD IS GOING TO FLOAT OFF!!!

Woohoo!!! Yesterday was my first consciously chosen and worked for no-spend day since I joined SA!!!

Now, there may have been no-spend days over the past month, but there was no thought behind the action you see. Yesterday took will-power.

I cooked breakfast and dinner and chilled around the house during the day. The cats were almost out of food and were starting to look restless. I had to give 'em a little somethin' or else they might have killed me in my sleep. So, they munched on beef scraps generated when I trimmed the round roast. Cats: pacified.

Last night we had been invited to a fight party (Meriweather vs the guy who lost) by one of the cigar store customers. Free drinks, free munchies, free cookies! And they paid for the pay-per-view for the fight, too!

Then, temptation reared its ugly head again.

Green felt, clinking chips, and cards as far as the eye could see. The room was kinda small, so I'm being realistic. Anyways, they were getting ready for a night of poker. $40 buy-in.

NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

DH hopped right on in. (aside: DH finished the night $20 ahead, too!)

I had cash, but some of it was $1s alloted to the change and buck bucket. I wanted to play, and DH even offered to spot me my buy-in (so I could have started out for free!). And I almost did it too...

But no, will-power and determination won out in the end. I knew that, though I might start playing for free, the chance of losing my money was still there. Losing money is the same as spending money on a no-spend day.

Right? If not, then I may just start lightly kicking myself...

--UPDATE--

ANY SMILIES WHOSE CODE STARTS WITH A COLON : AND p OR o WON'T WORK PROPERLY, BECAUSE THE COLON : PLUS p OR o GETS INTERPRETED AS AND RESPECTIVELY

here's the built-in smilies from the forums:

GENERIC SMILIES


ACTION


ANGRY


CHEEKY


CONFUSED
: : : : :

COOL
arty-smiley-003: arty-smiley-021: arty-smiley-047: arty-smiley-050: opcorn:

COSTUMES


COUNTRIES


MISCELLANEOUS GRINS
: : :costumed-smiley-073: : : : : : : : : : : : :
: : : : : : : : : : : : arty-smiley-048: : :

LAUGHING
: : : : : : : : : : : :

LOVE


OTHERS
hmy: : arty-smiley-048: : h34r: : : : : : : : :grinning-smiley-036: : : : : : : : : : :costumed-smiley-073: : : : : : : : : : :

FEELING SICK
:vomit-smiley-003: :vomit-smiley-005: :vomit-smiley-006: :vomit-smiley-007: :vomit-smiley-009: :vomit-smiley-011: :vomit-smiley-015: :vomit-smiley-020: :vomit-smiley-023: :vomit-smiley-001:

SAD


SHOCKED
06: 12: 13: 17: 18: 20: 23: 39: 03:

And yes, it is in that order!

Date Night
Well, last night wasn't intended to be a date night, but that's OK. After work DH and I hung out at the cigar store for a while. Turned out to be a good thing, b/c my accountant is a customer there and he popped in for an hour or so. He likes to 'talk shop' as it were, so I took the opportunity to pump him for information at no charge! *evil grin* The down side is that we wound up writing him a check to cover work he did for another friend of ours. Interestingly, this friend is also DH's boss, so we'll see how that works out.

Other activities at the store included setting up DH's 401k and dropping me from his benefits for next year. Got my own, you see.

After the store we ate at Wendy's. How romantic! Actually, it was kind of nice, b/c I can't remember the last time I sat in a restaurant and had a burger and coke (ok, diet coke). Absences makes the heart grow fonder, I suppose.

From there we headed to an irish pub to meet aforementioned boss-friend. Beer, darts, and a blues band. Gotta love it!

Beef Stuff
After sausage biscuits, brown sugar oatmeal, and homemade cocoa this morning, I decided to pretend to be productive. While working on organizing my freezer this am, I came across an angus bottom round roast I'd gotten on sale, 60% off. I decided to make something with it and had no clue what I wanted. So, I defrosted it, seared it 15 seconds on all sides, and plopped it in the crock pot with salt, pepper, and mad crazy garlic. Added 1.5 qts of water and the juice from 1) a jar of pearl onions and 2) a jar of sliced mushrooms. I had visions of beef & barley soup (oh my!).

A little later DH walked in the kitchen and said something to the effect of "MMMMM, beef stew....". Dammit, man, I started getting visions again! Now I was seeing a big pot of mashed potatoes, beef stew, and potato cakes in the morning. Beef & barley will have to wait. I strained the broth, cut up the roast, and added beef, pearl onions, and 3 cut up potatoes back into the crock pot. Dehydrated veggies will join them in about 30 min, then a bit of cornstarch, then the feasting begins. WOOHOO!!

Feelin' Stupid
DOH! While puttering around upstairs I noticed that the storm window in the bathroom was up. 'No wonder it's been chilly when I get out of the shower' I thought to myself. So, I close it up, and realized maybe it would be a good idea to check the rest of the windows upstairs: there are 9 total, but one is completely blocked off. Of the 8 left, only 2 had their storms down. ACK!!! The windows directly behind our headboard might as well have been wide freakin' open! Geez....

So yeah, I'm feelin' stupid. The good news is, it should be much warmer up there now!

OK, Lau gave me the courage to load 2 pictures of my backyard I took yesterday morning

First the Good: this is some of the foliage in my side yard. The second story window (which you might not be able to see)is my BR.


Now the Bad: This is my 'greenhouse'. HA! Told you the property had yard issues... This building has been nicknamed "The Crack Shack"

Been reading around in the blogs, and what with the holidays and New Year's coming up fast, there appear to be a lot of folks thinking about getting into a healthier lifestyle. Eating better, exercising, etc.

So I was thinking: what if we had a $20 Health Challenege for 2007? Set goals for yourself and an amount you would pay into your challenge money when you meet those goals. Like Ima does right now paying herself when she walks on the treadmill?

You could even throw a curve-ball in there too: you have to fund unhealthy stuff by using the challenge money. Want chocolate cake? Pony up some Challenge Money. Gonna rent pay someone to do yardwork instead of doing it yourself? Have to use Challenge Money.

I dunno, the more I thought about it the more I thought it might be interesting. Funny, in the 'normal' world, folks make themselves pay when they do something bad! HA!!!

Anyways, let me know what you think.

Sad but true, ya'll: my house would be cleaner if I didn't live here. Granted, it would still be cluttered...

See, as I dust mopped my staircase I started wondering "where the heck does all this junk come from?!?". So I hunkered down and took a closer look.

There's some sand, which means I need a front door mat. Bah, will have to fight the temptation to get a cutesy holiday one! But without doubt, the biggest contributions to the dust elephants on my stairs were some really long hairs and, um, skin. sorry, gross i know!

I have really long hair and really dry skin. I mean bad dry skin: I itch as soon as I towel off from a shower, and I have friends who say I'm the only ashey white girl they know! Anyways, with long hair and dry skin, apparently I shed a lot. Everywhere, all the time.

And that is why the house would be cleaner if I didn't live here. If I could get DH and the cats out, too, my house would be immaculate!

Dear readers, it is that time of day again. Time to curl up with one's coffee, one's thoughts, and one's cat inside one's jacket.

I'm being serious: my cat just crawled inside my fleece. I think she has womb issues (at age 7).

At any rate, the day is winding down, I've caught up on blogs and threads (is it just me or was it quiet here today?), and now I'm settling in.

I'll start off with the "coincidence", since I think that's what some might be most interested in *grin*. Tonight is DH's pool league night, so it's pretty much an evening apart. DOn't worry, it's by choice: I can go if I want, but all there is to do is sit there for 4 hours and watch people play pool. Once you've done it a couple of times, it starts to lose the thrill...

Anywho, DH asked me to meet him at Zaxby's on my way home from work so we could have dinner before he went to pool. He paid out of his allowance, and that's the third time this week. The house and I haven't had to pay yet. Hmmm.

But wait, the plot thickens. During our dinner DH somehow manages to bring up both the move "Bad Santa" and the fact that I haven't changed my last name, all in the course of casual conversation. I throw this out to you, readers. Is it coincidence that DH is bringing up topics that I have discussed online within the past week? More specifically: what's up with the "Bad Santa" reference? I dunno...

Anywho, on to more mundane blogging topics.

Went grocery shopping today since I pulled grocery/allowance money out early this week (it was payday, I was at the bank, I'm weak). As some of you have read in the threads, I got a great deal on a a bunch of meat. Over 10 lbs of steak and bacon for around $30.

As you probably have figured out, I'm not a vegetarian. Personally, I firmly belive that cows, pigs, and chickens would kill us all if given the chance Actually, I do have a general philosophy on eating meat, but that's another topic for another day.

To go with my meat I soda (sale) OJ (sale) coffee creamer (sale + coupon) bread (sale) organic fries (sale) chicken (reduced for quick... sale) and glad press'n'seal freezer edition (on sale and needed, what with 10 lbs of meat to deal with).

Anyone care to guess what I did at work this afternoon between database issues? Gotta love having sales papers online!

In addition to my sale items I got crushed tomatoes, local dairy milk, sage, garlic powder, wild rice, hulled barley, and split yellow peas. Combine this with the fact that it's going to hit freezing here in the next 2 days, I think I feel a soup coming on.

So there it is. I spent, I saved, I wondered at the coincidences.

I started stashing the change and dollar bills from my allowance 10/12. Here's my progress:

----------------------------------------------
PREVIOUS TOTAL
----------------------------------------------
  $49.43 total as of 10/26
- $ 4.04 reward on 10/30 for meeting

1W1G #2
--------
  $45.39
----------------------------------------------
THIS WEEK
----------------------------------------------
  $27.00 dollar bills
  $ 4.25 quarters
  $ 1.20 dimes
  $ 0.20 nickels
  $ 0.19 pennies
--------
  $32.84 total this week
----------------------------------------------
  $78.23 total as of 11/02

$15 of this week's dollar bills were poker winnings.

... is that I don't leave the office to go get food!

What I mean is that when I bring my lunch to work, I sit at my desk and eat. I don't actually take a lunch hour, which means I'm putting in 9 a day when it's neither needed or required.

It's a little too chilly to go to the park, so I need to brainstorm a bit.

You know, it would be great if someone opened a brown-bag friendly cafe! Go to lunch with your friends and it would be OK to bring your own food...

Bluh.

Catchy, huh? Anywho, I'm feeling not quite great right now, which I'll rant about in a moment. First, let me cover

Why I feel 'ducky'
I had to drive 359 miles round trip (6 hours total) today to make a yearly on-site visit with one of our software clients. The visit took about 1.5 hours, and involved performing the same computerized maintanence we perform every month from 350 miles away... At any rate, after breakfast coffee lunch and gas the trip cost me right around $40. Since i get reimbursed at $0.445 per mile, I will get a check for over $159 for the trip. Gotta love driving a 2-door spec!

Now, why I feel 'yucky'
Bluh.

I'm starting to feel like I'm getting sick. I work w/ someone who has 5 kids; he therefore brings to work the patience of a saint and a lot of germs. Patience good, germs baaaaaaad. I think I've become a short-term living space for several thousand or so (germs, that is!), and am therefore feeling poorly, physically speaking. Plus driving for 6 hours is somehow very tiring.

Mentally speaking, I'm starting to feel a little ragged around the edges and am trying to 'keep my chin up' as they say. I hate chin-ups.

At any rate, cruising around on this site is making me take stock of more than just my stocks, as it were. I felt very warmly welcomed here from the moment I joined, and it's something I'm starting to miss more and more in 'real life'. I lost a lot of friends in June when we closed our center: folks just scattered to the wind all across the country. Other than family and DH's friends, my 'circle of influence' is almost to the point of either being laughable or depressing. Still trying to figure out what to do about that.

Along the same lines, and yet completely unrelated, is the fact that BA's post about feeling lonely made me very sad. Not just for BA, but for myself because it brought up some of my own painful personal memories regarding DH. This is relates to my shrinking circle of influence b/c I've only talked to two people IRL about what happened; one was a work friend and one was our roommate at the time (who now won't talk to us cause he owes us money). I haven't discussed it with family or our mutual friends b/c I don't think it would be appropriate, but it still leaves me with a really big festering yuck that I can't seem to get rid of. I guess that's why I'm spewing it out here, to at least try to get some of it out of my system. Sorry if I got some on you!

Bluh.

And while I don't know if this is yucky or ducky, it is somewhat interesting: I starting to think DH is reading my blog. Little things pop up into conversation that seem almost a little too... convenient.

I have no problems with him reading what I've written since "All names have been changed to protect the innocent" so to speak. But at the same time there is a nagging urge to change what I'm writing, maybe the tone or the rawness, just in case he is out there. I don't think that would be very fair to me, though, to change my words and my thoughts just to protect his ego. Actually, I think that would be pretty darn self-defeating, don't you?

Therefore, kind readers, rest assured that all future entries from tinapbeana will remain, as always, a bit weird, off-topic, and somewhat emotional in a cathartic kind of way. And on a serious note, please know that I appreciate each and every one of your kind words, suggestions, and 'atta-girl's.

Well, my first automatic deposit for GYD finally hit today. It was 'processed' Friday, came out of RLC on Monday, and got to the online account today. Since they have an SLA of 3 business days, all appears well.

Oh, and I earned a penny in interest on my original $5 for the month of October! Not bad seeing as it was there a week *g*