OK, so you've seen those posters some places put in the work environment, the ones with the black border and a big word at the top like TEAMWORK, COMPETITION, MOTIVATION, etc? There's an apro-pro picture and a wonderful quip at the bottom designed to inspire productivity and a thrilling workplace.Despair.com
At any rate, if you want a laugh today check out
, which has this same kind of thing but all of their quips are de-motivating
. IT'S TOO FREAKIN' FUNNY!!!
I've included the titles and quips below, but go to the site to see the pictures (didn't want to post a picture-rific entry two days in a row).
You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.
That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
Not all pain is gain.
The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly
If we don't take care of the customer,maybe they'll stop bugging us.
The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.
Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.
It's a short trip from riding the waves of change to being torn apart by the jaws of defeat.
When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.
There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.
Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
If you're not a part of the solution,there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
Dare to Slack
When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.
For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.
There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.
Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.
It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.
You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.
A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.
There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices.
It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one... the good news is that we should run out of them in no time.
Do it Later
The early worm is for the birds.
In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.
Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.
The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.
Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places.
It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
When your best just isn't good enough.
Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea
If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.
You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.
Get To Work
You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.
It's best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.
There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.
The harder you try, the dumber you look.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.
When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.
It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.
It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.
Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.
No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.
Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.
Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here.
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.
If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"
It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.
None of us is as dumb as all of us.
While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses.
It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
We promote family values here - almost as often as we promote family members.
Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.
Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.
It's over, man. Let her go.
Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.
Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.
Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.
It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.
The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.
No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them
Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
The race for quality has no finish line- so technically, it's more like a death march.
It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second
Because you've given so much of yourself to the Company that you don't have anything left we can use.
If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.
Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.
All we ask here is that you give us your heart.
As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems.
Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.
Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.
A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.
Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.
The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important