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Home > Goals: Harsh Words, True Thoughts

Goals: Harsh Words, True Thoughts

January 3rd, 2007 at 04:59 pm

Alright, before you click the link below remember that Violent Acres uses strong language. I'm including excerpts from her entry because I think this concept applies to a lot more than weight, which I'll get to eventually.

Text is Americans Aren’t Fat Because They Lack Willpower; They’re Fat Because They’re Broke and Link is http://www.violentacres.com/archives/80/americans-arent-fat-because-they-lack-willpower-theyre-fat-because-theyre-broke
Americans Aren’t Fat Because They Lack Willpower; They’re Fa...

To put it simply, a lot of people struggle with their weight because they don’t have enough money to stay thin.

Celebrities aren’t wearing size 00’s because they possess more self discipline or willpower than you. They’re wearing those sizes because they can afford a personal chef, fitness trainers and motivational speakers to come over to their houses to babysit 24-7. These people aren’t better than you. They’re richer than you and it’s likely that they spent more on their bodies than you made last year.


WOOHOO!!! Finally, someone else who realizes that we can't all look like Madonna or Beyonce or what Gwen Stefani used to look like. I'm not fat, I'm not obese, I'm a size 8. In Hollywood and most stores in the mall, this makes me a pig. What?!? Whatever happened to the concept of a 'perfect size 9'? Didn't that used to be in a song?

Whenever DH comments about how great 'insert starlet name here' looks, I've always looked at him and said "You know, I could probably look that good if it were my job, too". He looked at me like I was nuts the first time, so I explained to him that the real job of most actresses and singers is to look good because it sells. Chefs, trainers, home gyms, etc. If I didn't have to work and could spend 5 hours a day working out and the another 3 hours getting botox, massages, and alpha hydroxy peels, I'd look friggin' awesome too!

Around this time of year, people spend a lot of time resolving to lose weight. But what dooms them to failure year after year is that they don’t set enough money aside to accomplish that goal. It’s inevitable that they’ll fail and when they do, it’ll be a tremendous blow to their self esteem. What they haven’t realized is what it would have cost them to succeed.


OK, this is where I think it applies to more than just weight. So many folks pick a goal, something really nice and admirable and life-changing, and then don't realistically determine what it will take to reach that goal. What will it cost financially? How much time will it take? What sacrifices will I have to make to reach this goal? What sacrifices will I have to ask of others?

“The reason I’m overweight isn’t because I lack in moral fortitude. I just chose to financially prioritize my life differently from someone who is a smaller size. To me, a new computer and a swanky townhouse are more important than living a healthy lifestyle. The pleasure I get from junk food and reality TV is more than I’ll ever get from running a mile.”


Harsh words, but I really do think the thoughts behind them apply to almost everyone. There are some goals or ideals that are so important to us we are willing, even eager, to invest whatever time or money is needed to bring them to fruition. There are others, however, that don't resonate. Things we say we're 'gonna' do because we think we should, not because we want to.

With so many goals flying around us this time of year, with family and friends and co-workers all vowing to 'save money, lose weight, and spend more time with each other', I think it's really easy to fall into goal fever. Pick one, doens't matter which one, any one will do. If you do that, pick a goal that doesn't resonate with you, what are the odds you'll succeed? And if you don't succeed with this goal, what are the odds that you'll pick one that's harder in the future, even if it's more worthwhile?

So, there's a point in all this, I promise! The goals may always be the same, but how we chose to get there can always be different. Reminds me of the $20 challenge, where everyone comes up with a different way to reach the same goal. Anyways, if you've picked a goal for yourself, try to pick an action path that resonates and is do-able for you. Saving money? Great. Don't vow to get the newspaper every Sunday and clip coupons if you know deep down you'll never bring them to the store. You're wasting your time and your money. Find a different action path you know you'll follow through with.

22 Responses to “Goals: Harsh Words, True Thoughts”

  1. Aleta Says:
    1167846862

    I can remember when a size 10 used to be considered the perfect size. Last night, I flipped the channel and came across one of those programs, INSIDE EDITION or whatever, and had to eventually turn it off. What do we as regular people really have in common with these people that they showcase on TV and why do we really care about what's going on in their life.

    So, one of my resolutions this year is not to watch junk or anything that doesn't make me feel better about watching it. We need to tell a husbands to get in the real world and stop watching so much TV for their idea of what they think the facts are..

  2. threebeansalad Says:
    1167848228

    A few thoughts: It's important to remember that most TV actresses are NOT at a healthy weight. Their weight is abnormal, and yes, obtaining a size 0 would require extreme measures for most people. However, being at a healthy weight, or a size 8, is within the means and abilities of most people and doesn't require a personal trainer, chef, etc. With that said, going from a size 22 to a size 8 is HARD... really HARD, even if it is possible. It's great to see so many resolutions about losing weight, but for those of us currently at a healthy weight, we need to resolve to stay at that weight.

    An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

  3. Aleta Says:
    1167849047

    I think that you're a good size. Most of us would like to be able to wear a size 8 again. Like you said, it is doable. Your're right, we all just need to feel better about who we are. Alot of these people don't seem to be any happier than the next person. Their thinness becomes their addiction. They definitely don't seem to be keeping their men because they look beautiful. Beauty is skin deep. It's important to know who you are and what makes you happy.

  4. LuxLiving Says:
    1167849726

    This year for me is going to be more about utilizing my dollars better in keeping my weight down.

    What good does it do to spend $2.89 for a package of cookies that will cost me a huge $150.00 bottle of "name your diet pill poision" of the moment to get the additional weight off?

    What would happen if I just didn't buy the cookies?????

  5. tinapbeana Says:
    1167849969

    "So, one of my resolutions this year is not to watch junk or anything that doesn't make me feel better about watching it. We need to tell a husbands to get in the real world and stop watching so much TV for their idea of what they think the facts are.. " 

    i agree, watching crappy TV makes me feel like crap and i'm trying to do it less. for instance, have you seen dr. 90210? not sure what channel it's on, but it's depressing and i won't watch it any more: makes me feel bad about myself when i have no reason to.

    as for DH, i told him i'll put in the effort needed to look like 'insert starlet's name here' when he has a cut defined body like all the boy stars do Big Grin
    "However, being at a healthy weight, or a size 8, is within the means and abilities of most people and doesn't require a personal trainer, chef, etc. With that said, going from a size 22 to a size 8 is HARD... really HARD, even if it is possible." 

    that's part of my frustration, actually. if i, at a size 8, am tempted to feel humongo when i watch TV or walk into a store, i can't imagine what it's like for someone larger. it's unfair and unrealistic, but i guess so much of society has become unrealistic about so many things, not just weight. again, ties back in to finances this way...

  6. Broken Arrow Says:
    1167851192

    Ah, leave it to ViolentAcres to come up with interesting yet controversial thoughts. Big Grin

    I think her argument holds merit, no doubt, but I don't think it's an either-or proposition. Thing is, you too can stay fit exclusively through sheer willpower and effort. And in the end, no matter how much professional help you get (and yes, I agree they do make quite a bit of difference), you're still the one that ultimately has to work on it. As the saying goes, you can lead the horse to the water, but you can't make him drink it.

    Again, I do agree with her to a point, but to me, money is like gas for the car. True, the more you have, the faster and further it can help you get somewhere. But in the end, you're still the one that has to drive it, and even without monetary aid, you can still get there with "your own two feet".

  7. Aleta Says:
    1167851665

    I like what you said to your hubby. That's funny. Have any of you seem the game Tomb Raider with Miss Laura in it. I guess it is virtual reality for most of the men. If you haven't seen it, you have to. My husband loves that game. But then, if I did all of the physical stuff she does, I might come close to what she looks like. Maybe in my dreams.

  8. tinapbeana Says:
    1167852587

    hehehe!!! i almost went as laura croft for halloween, but figured i'd freeze my arse off if i dressed like her! i have the hair, and if i roll to DH's side of the bed i can have the rifle and hand-gun, but other than that i come up one boob-job and a corset short of the full effect.

    and BA, your right, most people can achieve reasonable goals without the absurd money, whether those goals are about weight or finances or health or whatever. it's the 'reasonable' i think folks tend to have issues with. seems to me so many folks don't set reasonable or realistic goals. or, when they want a drastic change, they aren't willing to put in the time, effort, and perhaps money that might be needed to get their 'on their own 2 feet'.

    can i walk to san diego? without a doubt. will i put in the time, effort, and money needed to do so? don't think so...

  9. Broken Arrow Says:
    1167852787

    Oh, and I just want to say that size 8 is a very good size. Being underweight is not attractive either.

  10. princessperky Says:
    1167878598

    I like the point of getting there on your own two feet if needbe....

    and glad we all like the size 8....its mine too Smile

    as to violent acres I think the paragraph of To me, a new computer and a swanky townhouse are more important than living a healthy lifestyle. The pleasure I get from junk food and reality TV is more than I'll ever get from running a mile. really sums it up, money isn't stopping people from losing weight peoples own priorities are......(though some is due to genetics/education)

    though I personally will pass on the running and the reality tv!

  11. Broken Arrow Says:
    1167920555

    Awww... dress up as Laura next time! And take pictures and share it with me *cough* I mean us. Wink

  12. monkeymama Says:
    1167921872

    I am actually size 14/16 and considered quite thin (people usually guess I am a size 6 or 8). Anyway I argue a size 8 is not attainable by everyone. I would have to weigh 110 pounds to be a size 8 - that is just not natural... I Was pretty underweight at that size. I am a very small boned person (probably why I look thinner) and I know many big-boned people who have never been that small (would be pretty unnatural).

    12/14 is my ideal size personally. (130 pounds?). I don't see the point in being much thinner.

    Having an anorexic sister, the "thin ideal" infuriates me. Nothing like flipping through a magazine and seeing people in a size 8 or 10 considered plus size - whatever!!!!

    Interestingly I Was watching Oprah last night and they were talking about the 3 distinguishing factors of class. It was teeth, weight and dialect. I guess more and more weight is a sign of lower class - interesting... I was kind of skeptical when they said there were 3 things that distinguish classes, but it is true, people with means have good teeth - they can afford to fix them. Just thought that was interesting the weight aspect with this article. More and more if you have more money you have more time and means to keep the weight off. I think fast food (cheap) plays a big part in that as well.

    Oh yeah and coming from a very overweight family I love the attitude I get when I work on my weight. Like I don't deserve to lose weight because I look thin?????? BElieve me I rather lose 10 pounds now than 50 later. I have see my mother "diet" up to 300 pounds. On the flip side my dh's family think IA m absoutely obese - they are all natural size 0s. You just can't win, there is such a fine line between too small and too big, or is there even a line??? Wink I think I have a good body image but there is only so much you can take every day of being told you are too fat, but then you are too thin to need to lose weight. Oy vey!!! IT still frustrates me to some degree.

  13. tinapbeana Says:
    1167922422

    i would have to agree that weight, dialect, and teeth can all be signs of financial class (but not true 'class', just b/c i happen to think folks like paris hilton are as unclassy as it gets). money does buy opportunity in some instances, it's just what you chose to do with that opportunity.

    as for the weight thing, well i'm kinda like monkeymama but on the other end of the spectrum, plus i think height does and realistically should play a role. i'm rather big boned (good german stock!) and high in muscle mass. so, when i was 115 lbs in college i was a size 7/8 b/c that's what size my hip bones are. now at 145 lbs i'm an 8/10. when i was 170 i was a size 12. sure i was healthy at 115 and would look OK, but why bother to lose 30 lbs to lose a pants size?

  14. monkeymama Says:
    1167960681

    WOW! I never thought that aspect to being tall. I am short but about 5 pounds will do me a pant size - hehe. I only have to lose 5-10 pounds to get to my ideal and frankly I am too lazy - LOL. But I Am working on not gianing further weight. OF course on the flip side I guess gaining 5 pounds is rather noticable when you are short - hmmm... SO it all evens out? Wink

  15. tinapbeana Says:
    1167967747

    actually, MM, i'm not tall but i would imagine it would have to play a role in it (wouldn't it?). as for my weirdo stats, i dunno. apparently i carry my weight all weird, cause a 55 lb gain or loss should result in more than just 3 sizes in about anyone... like i said, hard to get motivated to lose weight when i'll stay in the same clothes.

  16. baselle Says:
    1167976866

    Was an 18, now a 14...and unfortunately what with undertagging (a size 0 was a size 4 thirty years ago), I feel like I'm losing ground. But that's the fashion industry - why don't they automate the hangers? I like measuring my losses in inches - inches don't seem to change. I'm 5'8", 190, and proud.

  17. PRICEPLUS Says:
    1167980941

    Who wants to be with a skinny woman? My wife is not skinny and I am not Brad Pitt. Who wants to be? That stuff is not reality. Being healthy and self confident are far more attractive.

    I once went out with a very thin young lady. My father told me she looked like arefugee from an iron lung. Truth be told she was so bony it was uncomfortable snuggling! Real women have meat on their bones. Just my .02 cents!WinkSmile

  18. all4money Says:
    1168005550

    At age 31, I am 5ft tall, 120 lbs, and wear a size 4.

    At age 21, I was 5ft tall, 110 lbs, and wore a size 4.

    Although I wear the same size, I swear that clothes manufacturers must have decided to make the size bigger in measurements over the years. The size 4 suit I wore 10 years ago does not fit whatsoever like the size 4 suit I bought the other day. What gives? I think society realizes that the general population is larger than before and to soften the blow a bit, clothes makers are making their current size 4's fit what would've fit a 6 or 8 years ago. Does any of that make sense?

    Anyway, I'm with you all... it's all a matter of personal body style. Not everyone can be or should be a size 0. I too wish that our society didn't focus in on so much on those that are paid to look so thin...

  19. Aleta Says:
    1168006745

    One of my neighbors went to a gym and had a personal coach for about 2 years. She never lost much weight. What she did was gain muscle mass that according to her caused her to gain weight.

    She eventually stopped everything and started walking everyday with a friend in our neighborhood. She lost so much weight from walking that she actually had to cut back. I think that walking is a great exercise because you are breathing fresh air and you're moving your arms and legs normally.

  20. pjmama Says:
    1168458606

    I'm a size 6, and that's the biggest I've ever been. High metabolism runs in my family... unfortunately it slows down for us women in the early 20's Wink Ever since I gained my freshman 20 I've felt out of my skin for the most part. I'm at 135 now, and it's hard being okay with that, even though I dont watch TV. I guess it goes along with being used to a certain weight/body shape. It doesn't help that BF was quite plump when he was younger and is now a full-fledged fat-o-phobe. At any rate, I'm starting to feel okay with the way I am. I eat healthy. I eat junk, too, in moderation. I exercise to tone and strengthen, not to obtain the body of our reverend Angelina (who is so gorgeous and I could only wish for a face like hers). Violent Acres makes a great point in the cost of being thin... or at least getting there. I read this blog the other day and nodded in commendation. I spend a lot of money on produce and organics. Not always the cheapest. But I also agree with BA that there can be balance to it. Too many people get overly-obsessed with losing weight, not realizing that it is a gradual process, or at least should be. I like my balance of savings and healthiness, personally Smile

  21. kimiko Says:
    1168552991

    Ohh, fellow Violent Acres reader Smile
    She has a good point about quality food at high price, although I disagree with this article. Maybe it's because I'm Asian, not Chinese nor indulge in Chinese food. I think part of the problem is that people don't know how to make healthy, flavorful and inexpensive dishes without adding fat, cheese and butter. Last time I checked a cook book, 90% of the dishes in there were useless to me since they were full of the dreaded butter, cheeses and barely any spices. The funny thing was that Expensive Olive Oil was suggested to offset all that fattening ingredients and to make the dishes healthy. I had quite a laugh at that.

  22. tiki Says:
    1168722981

    If it's any consolation, some actresses may be size 0 or 00, but very few models are--because they're tall. If you're short, the tiniest sizes may be within range for you. But if you're over 5'4", diet though you may, there's no way you're going to be a size 0 (outside of a hospital ward).

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