BTW, I wanted to say something other than Dag Nabbit, but didn't know if it would be socially acceptable to mildly curse in the blog title. So, translate 'Dag Nabbit' to whatever your heart desires!
Seriously, though, when did being frugal make everyone think you were poor? I mean,
Was it the 80s? Was that when it became socially unacceptable to be frugal. I'm starting to think that might be it.
At this point, people look at me like I'm from Mars when I go around the grocery store with a list, coupons, comparing prices. Heaven forbid I have a calculator or another store's sales paper! I get to the checkout with coupons in tow (and my own grocery bags but that's another issue), and have actually felt uncomfortable writing a check for my purchases. Why should I feel uncomfortable writing a check, I know I have more than enough money to cover what I'm buying?
It's the people, you see. Here I am, a late 20s chica in jeans & a T-shirt buying nothing but sales priced and couponed items. For most folks, this screams "POOR!!!!" and as a result I get the 'look' when I whip out the checkbook. They take down my DL #, home phone, & expiration date, as if they just 'know' the check is going to bounce. Annoys the !@#$ out of me!!
I've started buying my groceries in cash at this point, just because I'm tired of the looks. Samething when I go clothes shopping at sale + clearance time. The fact that I enjoy getting a $300 purse for less than $40 doesn't mean I can't 'afford' to pay for said $40 purse (or even the $300 one).
SIDE NOTE: Yes, I did actually pay $40 for a purse, and yes it was originally over $300. It is extremely well made, good thick last-forever leather, and properly maintained could easily last me till retirement. $40 / 35 years of usage = well worth it in my book!
I guess the gist of it is I'm tired of feeling poor because I am frugal. Actually, let me reword that: I'm tired of *other people* making me feel poor because I am frugal. I don't like feeling poor when I am poor, much less when I'm actually *not* poor. Sheesh!
Maybe I'll just stop by the ATM every day and get a balance statement to carry around. Just in case I need to whip it out and yell "Who're you calling poor NOW, huh?" to put someone in their place!
*chuckle & snort* Not that I'd ever do it, but just picturing the scene in my mind does my heart good!
October 27th, 2006 at 05:03 pm 1161968615
I've suffered this too with my mortgage company - when I suggested that why don't I just pay them off today when they got snippy with me awhile back (ON THEIR MISTAKE - oh my!!) - "oh don't be absurd you can't afford to do that". Oh really?? You think not? I was so aggravated at The Hubster when he calmed me down over their mistake, but geeesh I wanted to pay those turkeys off that VERY day!!! Truth be told if it was just me they wouldn't have hit their next coffee break before the eft had been made!
October 27th, 2006 at 05:09 pm 1161968998
We sold a house,got a check for $280,000 and deposited it. Then we went into a bank giving 5.25% interest to open a money market. We went to the desk of the lady that opens the accounts and asked about it.
She told us, she was sorry, we could not open that account, we had to have a minimum of $50,000 to open one.
I handed her a check for $100,000.
I use to feel the way you do when I was younger. They do treat you like you are poor and cannot afford anything when you act and dress frugal. You finally just learn to accept it as you get older.
October 27th, 2006 at 05:16 pm 1161969397
I live in a pretty affluent town, in a very affluent state (overall) and still, everyone appreciates a good bargain.
I used to worry about stuff like this, what do other people think, a lot more when i was younger. Now i just don't give a shit!
October 27th, 2006 at 05:25 pm 1161969932
October 27th, 2006 at 05:32 pm 1161970340
I can not say what their financial matters are and it’s not really my business to know but I know I have an agenda to pay off my debts. I do not have a high savings account or any investments except for my 401K but I am going to keep trying to have that once my debts are paid off regardless what people do around me.
October 27th, 2006 at 06:31 pm 1161973905
gru: i'm sorry the folks where you work are excluding you b/c of your frugality. i agree with you, there are actions that are easy to read and not a situation where you think "maybe i'm just paranoid".
ima, i'm no where near my financial goals just yet, so let me live vicariously through you: did it feel great to be able to hand over the check for 100k?
October 27th, 2006 at 09:03 pm 1161983016
October 28th, 2006 at 12:24 am 1161995074
I'm too busy checking prices in the stores to notice what other people are doing - but it does bother me that every time I mention doing something to save money in front of my father, he says "What's the matter? You need money? How much?" (although it is very sweet). My family doesn't get the point of saving money to save it (although they are great savers - just not on the little things). If I have to cut out a night of entertainment or not buy something, in their minds it's because I HAVE to, not because I CHOOSE to.
October 28th, 2006 at 02:57 am 1162004251
Somehow, I'm lucky enough to know my grocer, etc. They know I'm a frugal freak but I manage to be charming about it.
October 28th, 2006 at 11:38 am 1162035493
Are you sure they are asking for that info based on how you look? Many stores require all that information for anyone who uses a check (unless you have one of their patron cards) It may just be a store policy and have nothing to do with how you look.
I don't worry too much about what folks think. Most of the time I think that DH and I actually appear to have even more money than we do because of the things we have-but we save lots of money on the small things, like food, clothes, kids toys, etc etc etc so that we can spend the money on the big things we want to enjoy, like cars, motorcycles, a camper, trips.
I do think that my friends think my obsession with buying things at the cheapest price, shopping at the thrift store and cooking from scratch are "quaint" and that the fact that I wash out ziplock baggies and make my own laundry detergent is just plain weird, but they keep it to themselves.
Keep on trucking, and know that you are probably doing much better financially than all those folks who "look" like they have money.
October 28th, 2006 at 02:50 pm 1162047029
October 28th, 2006 at 09:41 pm 1162071685
BTW, I can't close my purse because it's overfilled with coupons that I've collected while going up and down the grocery aisles. Everyone notices that too!
November 13th, 2006 at 04:02 am 1163390533
i do understand the experience of people assuming and treating you like you're poor because you choose to be frugal... we get that from lots of people... mostly we just ignore it or choose to be amused... in some ways it is simpler than when people know you do have money... because then you will always hear about how you should be spending said money...